Hi Friends!
I’m taking us a little off-script this month.
I cannot believe it’s already December. For many of my clients and friends, it’s been a year to remember. Others would describe it as a year to forget. If you are a person of Faith, you may question whether you are doing things the way you should be. Perhaps you are like me and always looking for signs from Him to understand your purpose.
If I haven’t lost you yet, thank you. Please keep reading.
In my household (family + work family), we adhere to a “no recruiting or judgment” policy regarding religion and politics. Too bad that rule doesn’t apply to college football in the South. (Go Vols!) Respecting each person’s beliefs is core to our culture, and how I choose to live this life. So, please know that I am not writing to recruit or judge. I simply want to share a story about my Faith, and how it guides my business decisions in hopes that someone reading this can relate.
My husband was diagnosed with diverticulitis three years ago, and it kept him in and out of the hospital for two years. I struggled with the idea that I could lose my soulmate and become a single mom. I had nightmares about a new life without him. It’s an awful position to be in, and I’m sure I wouldn’t have survived it without my Faith and Faith-based community of friends and colleagues. At the same time, I struggled to show up to work as the leader my team deserved. Six major surgeries later, my husband fully recovered, and I am beyond thankful for this gift. Right on the heels of his recovery, the COVID-19 pandemic shifted my work household to a virtual office setting, making personal connections challenging. Last year, my mother was hospitalized with a blood clot, and my father passed away while under my care in the same week. So, you could say my family and I had a few rough years. But I’m not looking for sympathy, as I am at peace with this being HIS plan for me.
The road to recovery for my husband and mother was tremendous, but they were not the only ones who needed to recover. I, too, needed to recover – friendships I had ignored, employees I had neglected to appreciate, and the mental healing I needed to go through myself.
Now, I keep prayer and Faith at the center of my daily routine. For example, last month, I traveled to Raleigh, NC, to deliver the keynote at the Society for Professional Services (SMPS) November program. Waking at 4:45 AM to catch my flight, I prayed for safe travels and asked for an opportunity to serve Him in my work that day.
Later that afternoon, I boarded my return flight to find a gentleman seated in the center seat next to me. His head was bowed, and his hands were clutched hanging between his knees. My first thought was to be careful not to wake him. Later, I realized he must have been praying. The gentleman was Crawford Lorrits, a well-known pastor, author, and highly sought-after speaker. I felt connected to him immediately once we began talking. After we landed, I quickly said “goodbye,” so eager travelers could exit the plane. Walking through the airport, I was overcome with a feeling of regret. I felt I needed to be connected to Crawford for longer than a 90-minute flight. Why didn’t I exchange information with him?
The walk from my gate to the offsite parking buses at Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport can be quite a haul. But, it gave me plenty of time to think about how I would reconnect with Crawford – google search, friends from the church, Facebook, LinkedIn – “surely he will be easy to find,” I reassured myself.
Then, the most amazing thing happened. I boarded the shuttle bus, and there he was. I couldn’t believe my eyes – Crawford was on my bus. What are the chances at the world’s busiest airport with countless ground transportation options that Crawford was on my bus to my preferred offsite parking lot? We were both delighted to see each other. The shuttle drove us to the parking facility, where there are thousands of parking spaces, and you will never believe where Crawford was parked – just a few spaces next to me.
I let a few days pass before reaching out. I wasn’t sure what to say. Then, I remembered when Jesus said, “go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation,” I realized he wasn’t just talking to pastors and missionaries. If you are of Christian faith, we are HIS children, and he commands our Faith everywhere we go, including at work and in our careers.
For most of my readers, your job can sometimes feel like your mission in life. However, staying true to your Faith, regardless of what that may be, can change the way you work and relate with teammates, partners, and even your competitors.
I was raised in the Lutheran church, but much later in life, I realized that our Faith isn’t something we schedule for an hour on Sunday mornings. So, how does one stay true to yourself in a secular corporate landscape? How do I carry HIS word with me in everything I do and still adhere to my self-imposed “no recruiting” rules?
Here are a few things I’m doing that may help you if you are struggling with bringing your Faith into the workplace:
Pray
Over the past twenty years, I have observed my business partner, Donya Edler, praying before every business meal. She has done this, whether it’s a boxed lunch in our clients’ offices, at a public restaurant, or at a black-tie event. I remember the shock I felt the first time I saw her do it. I was not accustomed to anyone praying at a work event, yet she did it without pause. I have always admired her taking the time to be true to her Faith during the workday. While I have not been diligent about praying before work meals, I do pray for every teammate regularly. Although we may not spend a lot of time together outside of work, I try to include my team in my prayers, especially in times of personal hardships.
Make and keep genuine lifetime relationships
It’s rare for me to work with someone and not “know them forever .” I think this is one of the gifts HE gave me – the ability to build genuine lifetime connections. I worked for four companies before starting my own, and if I had not been faithful to my relationships, I would not have had the network that supported my entrepreneurial dreams. It’s more than “not burning bridges.” It’s making a special bond with people who cross your path daily. Especially now, people crave relationships and community. Making genuine connections with your coworkers and getting to know them individually helps form deeper connections, which can often open the door for you to share and demonstrate your Faith. With the mass exit of baby boomers and the increasing talent gap, connecting with younger staff is especially important. A recent survey published by Harvard’s Graduate School of Education showed that 61% of young people aged 18-25 and 51% of mothers with young children “feel lonely almost all of the time.” In addition, 43% of young adults reported increased loneliness since the COVID-19 outbreak, of which half of the young adults reported that no one in the past few weeks had “taken more than just a few minutes” to ask how they are doing in a way that made them feel like the person genuinely cared. According to a recent CDC survey, 63% of young adults suffer from symptoms of anxiety or depression. Relationships are more important now than ever. You might have to adopt new technologies to reach the younger employees and buyers. My teenager just taught me how to use Snap Chat so feel free to contact me if you need a tutorial.
Show grace in conflicts
Demonstrating grace during conflicts is the best way Christians can be true to their Faith. This one is hard for me, I admit. But, in a divisive world, Christians must stay true to their Faith and show grace during the most challenging times. I have learned that the outcome is always better when leaders can respond to conflict with grace and peace. Some best practices we have instituted at Smartegies include:
Don’t talk badly about your teammates, clients, partners, and vendors
If there is a weak link in your team, help them be successful. (yes, sometimes this means helping them find another place to work, but let’s respect them while they are part of your work family)
Have sweaty conversations that strengthen the team – Approaching conflict directly with the person in question is the most professional and respectful thing you can do
Listen and understand before prioritizing your need to be understood
Own your part in a conflict
Don’t compromise your integrity. It’s not for sale.
The commercial real estate, design, and construction industries encourage high-stakes competitions. It’s often easy to convince yourself that whatever it takes to win is acceptable. For example, other firms may be tempted to take credit for your work because one of the team members from a project left your firm and joined theirs. Or perhaps a trusted friend will leave your firm and become a competitor after promising you they would never do that. However, just because someone else acts without integrity doesn’t mean you have to respond similarly. In these moments where you feel personally offended because a promise has been broken or a lie has been told, remember How you do your work is what matters. What someone else “does to you” is between them and their maker. When we live out our Faith, we become people known for honesty and integrity. People notice this commitment. When we don’t, people also notice. Every firm leader I know has regretted their actions during times of conflict. The saying, “it’s lonely on top,” is true. However, leaders can build healthier cultures and relationships with employees by acting with integrity and grace.
Now I understand why God sent Crawford to me, and I can’t wait for everyone to hear what he has to say on Season 5 of the AEC Marketing for Principals podcast, airing in February 2023. Subscribe now so you don’t miss it!
For all who have read to the end, thank you. I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous and Faithful 2023!
